id be glad to
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Who put my cat in the fridge?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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