hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
