You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
