I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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