All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
mondays should just be called national damage control day
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
