i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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