I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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