Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
