Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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