I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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