good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
