every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
