I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You can't special order awesome
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
