she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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