Is it because I queefed?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
