So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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