Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
