so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize
