This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
