I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i jhust puked up my retainher.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
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