THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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