Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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