you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
