Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
