the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
