you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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