You can't motorboat a personality
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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