Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Quick, to the slutcave!
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
