Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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