I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
