She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
