i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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