I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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