Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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