filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
