Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize