maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
honey bunches of taint.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
