Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
