and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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