Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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