you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
