piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
