Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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