bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
a search helicopter?!
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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