Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
time to smoke my breakfast
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
