I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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