We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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