It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
God, I missed his penis.
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