I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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