Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
