Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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