You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
